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Monday, April 23, 2012

Physics to Layman Dictionary

Hey guys.  I got bogged down grading mit-terms yesterday and completely forgot to post something.  I don't have the continuation to my latest series, but here's something to keep you entertained.


When a Physicist Says
The Layman Hears
But the Physicist Probably Meant
Theory
Wild Guess
Scientific Understanding
Model
Wiled-Guess-Making Machine
Accurate-Prediction-Making Machine
Mathematics
Magic
Logic
Hypothesis
Unfounded Guess
Educated Guess
Speculation
Cutting Edge
Wild Guess
Astronomy
Astrology
Physics… IN SPACE
Quantum Physics
Magic and/or Metaphysics
The Standard Model of Particle Physics
Evolution (Biology)
Blasphemous Account of the Origin of Life
Scientific Account of the Diversity of Life
Evolution (Physics)
Blasphemous Account of the Origin of Life
Scientific Account of the way Systems Change Over Time
String Theory
Cutting Edge or Wild Guess
Mathematical Field with Potential Application to Particle Physics
Probability Theory
Wild Guess
Mathematical Field
Evidence
Observation I Claim to have Made
Observation Confirmed by Multiple Independent Groups of Experimenters
Cosmology
Metaphysics and/or Blasphemy
Physics… IN SPACE
Social Science
Scientific Study of Society
Pseudo-Scientific Study of Society
Scientist
Someone with a Bachelor’s Degree
Someone with a Ph. D in some type of Physics, Chemistry, Biology, Geology, or Possibly Mathematics or Computer Science
Scientific Consensus
Opinion of Scientists
Statement for which Multiple Groups have Independently Obtained Evidence
Relative
Subjective
Objective and Dependent Upon Some Parameters
Physicist
Theorist
Theorist or Experimentalist
Experimentalist
Inventor
Hypothesis-Tester
Fundamental
Basic, Easy
Cutting-Edge
Entropy
Disorder
Number of Identical Microstates
Second Law of Thermodynamics
Systems Tend to Become More Disordered Over Time
The Most Probable Macrostate is the one which Describes the Most Microstates
Conservation of Energy
Energy can’t be Created or Destroyed
The Total Mass-Energy of a Closed System is Constant in Time
Conservation of Mass
Matter can’t be Created or Destroyed
Conservation of Energy
Spacetime
Space and Time
A Four-Dimensional Non-Euclidean Space
Cold
Below 0 Degrees Fahrenheit
Context Sensitive, but Often a few Millikelvin
Hot
Above 100 Degrees Fahrenheit
Context Sensitive, but Often Several Megakelvin
Lightyear
A Really Long Time
Over 5,000 Trillion Miles
Nuclear
Atomic Bomb Material
Dealing with the Nucleus of an Atom
Radiation
Dangerous Shit
Light
Electron
A Tiny Billiard Ball
A De-Localized Quantum Object
Squark
An Attempt at Parody
A Scalar Quark
Classical
Greek
Non-Quantum
LASER
Pointer or Weapon
Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation
Entanglement
Buddhism
A Multi-Particle State which Cannot be Factored into Single-Particle States
Not a Scientific Question
THERE IS A GOD!!!1!!
Too Controversial or Meaningless to Bother with
Approximation
Horribly Inaccurate Guess
Within 10% Accuracy
Confident
Arrogant
It is Statistically Improbable that I am Wrong
Improbable
40% Chance
5% Chance or Less
Probable
60% Chance
95% Chance or More
Chaotic
The Physics Behind this is Unknown
This is so Sensitive to Hard-to-Measure Initial Conditions that we can’t Predict it Even Though we Know the Physics Behind It
Parity
Charge (Confused with Polarity)
Mirroring Every Axis
Quantify
Remove all Emotion
Make More Specific
Brane
Brain
Membrane
Observer
Human Being
Non-Sentient Instrument
String
Violin String
One-Dimensional Analog of a Particle
Unsure
THERE IS A GOD!!!1!!
We have not Finished Investigating
Information
Ability to Convey an Idea
Learn Quantum Information Theory to Find Out
Unitarity
UNTRANSLATABLE1
The Fact that Total Probability is Always 100%
Published
Printed Somewhere
Printed in a Peer-Reviewed Journal
Peer-Reviewed
My Friend Okayed It
A Qualified Scientist I’ve Likely Never Met Okayed It
Vacuum
Nothing
Spacetime with Non-Zero Energy
Star
Big Ball of Fire
Enormous Object Undergoing Nuclear Fusion
Simulation
Pretend Science
Computer-Driven Model
Interference
Static
Interaction of Two Waves
Natural Law
Constraint on Reality
Description of Reality
Noise
Sound
Not Signal
Precise
Accurate
Capable of Detecting Small Changes

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